All too often I see moms post online about kids and bullying, trying to use their voice to educate parents on bullying in schools. All too often children enter playgrounds and feel different. Heck, I was one of those kids! I was picked on in middle school for not wearing cool enough shoes, then picked on some more for my hair, my clothes and who knows what else. I don’t like to look back on those years as an adult because of how painful they were.
In a world that is ever increasingly “online” I often struggle with how much I share about my kids. Some day will someone Google my daughters and find my posts written in pure love and take those words and torment them? The thing about bullies is they never grow up. They’re hurting children with their own issues who take it out on others.
I live a pretty public life so it shouldn’t have surprised me when I found myself again being bullied. All it takes is one woman/bully mom who doesn’t like you to make your life miserable. As I look back on those years I wasted trying to defend myself I see a young meek woman who didn’t have the guts to walk away. Or maybe I just wasn’t mature enough to deal with the situation…
Most women look back on their pregnancies with much admiration but you know what I think about. I think about all the tears, the fighting with my husband, the emotions of just wishing the bullying would stop.
See I was bullied through out my entire pregnancy, images taken of me on a persons cell phone then used to post on someones blog stating “look at this drunk” “she guzzled 3 glasses of wine”. I was tortured day in and day out in my online life. The truth is, it wasn’t just my online life as my life very much is intertwined with the online world. It affected me, a pregnant woman sitting behind a computer screen I cried and pleaded for mercy.
The thing is bullying knows no bounds. It reaches children and adults, on the playground and online. What I have learned is that by walking away I have all the power. I have the ability to tune it out even if it keeps coming at me. My husband walked up to this bully mom and introduced himself recently as someone who’s so vocal about me online in person she had nothing to say. Hey, I’m Del I’m the husband to the woman whom you’ve said so much about online.
He wanted a real human connection, not words behind a computer. But still…Nothing!! She came home and in fact last week my site was shut down because this same bully mom was looking for a way to affect my life. Had nothing to say to me in person but online my ignoring her just was too much so she found my Review FAQS that were actually written during the creation of Mommies United 6 years ago. The site I created with my sister and a few other well known bloggers. It migrated from that blog to this one years ago! Claiming the content was created by someone else my site was shut down and rather than throw a fit about it I removed it. My content now is way better than it was six years ago and I was not about to let this bully mom continue to affect my life. I deleted it, well done, walked away.
The reality is when a bully wants to get to you they will show no mercy. They will do whatever it takes. I went as far as to hire lawyers, call the police, and now I’m sticking with ignore the existence of the bully. It hasn’t worked for me yet but I really hope one day it will. I could continue a legal fight but to be honest I am emotionally exhausted. I allowed this person to take one of the happiest times of my life and leave me with nothing but bad memories. My pregnancy should have been mine, and I will never allow someone to take from me that way. EVER AGAIN!
I encourage every woman who has dealt with a “fight online” or a bully mom to just brush it off. Don’t let it go as far as it has for me. Learn from me and don’t defend yourself from the start. Just walk away knowing that all that person wants to do is see you down. If you let them, they win! Leave knowing that in the world there are just some people who would like nothing more than to see you fail. Rise above and guess what, you win!